Shouting "I don't care" doesn't particularly convince me

You cannot call it your own. I always run circles up around in my head.
"A long, long time. Still you drive me out of my mind."

I hear the flucuations in the intonation. I know already. I always did. Lying is always a very foolish thing to attempt with me.

(But what street was she walking down?

As the street grew clearer, I saw it was in Paris. It was a boulevard.

And some months later, that first sentence finally became

"It was a hot, peaceful optimistic sort of day in September. It was about eleven in the morning I remember and I was drifting down the Boulevard St. Michel thoughts rising in my head like little puffs of smoke when suddenly…"

And I had to figure out - suddenly what? Somebody stops her, of course. The man she will fall in love with? Undecided. She's an actress and the man who stops her is an actor and they already know each other and they go to a café when suddenly again...

She sees her lover, an Italian Diplomat…." And I was off.)

-excerpt from The Dud Avocado, which was read by me....at age thirteen and had a profoundly negative effect on my overall character and person. The lack of morals is astounding, awe inspiring if you will. As a overt hedonist. I highly recommend it.