Sunday, May 23, 2010

Dreaming fuzzily... and in muted tones

I watched the swirling clouds for awhile, woke up to the night, re-entangled myself in blankets, and woke up again, this time enchanted with the hours others pass through banally dreaming.

Hopefully one day this mess will all get sorted out. Things aren't always the way I planned them to be. I deal poorly with plans, especially the last minute sort.

I've said it before...I'll say it again. "Run, run, see if I care, see if I care (I do.) If you don't like me... then don't look at me... there must be somebody else who can take your gaze away. If you don't want me, you don't have to have me. I just thought you might feel the same. That's all."

I have to say hello to an old friend. And then I must go. I just stopped by to tell you that I'm going, won't happen again. I swear.
Don't say I didn't warn you. Just don't say I didn't warn you..."Like a jealous little sister, when you had your time you spent it crying. I may be cold, I may be out of anyone's control, but I have my feeling of superiority to comfort me. "
You're drunker quicker... and you're sicker even quicker.... I was waiting for something to fall on you... so what shall I call you now? I will never say I told you so...but I knew, I knew, it was something that would happen to you. No, I told you so. I told you so.

I'm sorry if I have confused...anyone, but there is no person to which I am venturing through these waves for. I'm more of a floating island. I go where I want to, unencumbered by the fixed ground. I'll take company on my next misadventure...but please, don't try and set up shop.

The things you love. Why does someone always try and stop me from having the things in life that would make me happy? Have the pleasure of saying what you mean. To sum it up... maybe my weekend wasn't so good...

Aside from one detail I cannot mention in particulars however, it makes me glow and brim with smiles just thinking about. Sometimes life is kinder to me than other times.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

So Happy

So Limbo. Saturday, what to do? Oh I know, but I have little desire to commit.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Shouting "I don't care" doesn't particularly convince me

You cannot call it your own. I always run circles up around in my head.
"A long, long time. Still you drive me out of my mind."

I hear the flucuations in the intonation. I know already. I always did. Lying is always a very foolish thing to attempt with me.

(But what street was she walking down?
As the street grew clearer, I saw it was in Paris. It was a boulevard.
And some months later, that first sentence finally became
"It was a hot, peaceful optimistic sort of day in September. It was about eleven in the morning I remember and I was drifting down the Boulevard St. Michel thoughts rising in my head like little puffs of smoke when suddenly…"
And I had to figure out - suddenly what? Somebody stops her, of course. The man she will fall in love with? Undecided. She's an actress and the man who stops her is an actor and they already know each other and they go to a café when suddenly again...
She sees her lover, an Italian Diplomat…." And I was off.)
-excerpt from The Dud Avocado, which was read by age thirteen and had a profoundly negative effect on my overall character and person. The lack of morals is astounding, awe inspiring if you will. As a overt hedonist. I highly recommend it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance.....

Can I just have one more moondance with you? -a song that never gets old.

"Choke me in the shallow water, before I get too deep."

With the sun shining, she walks on petals onto the dizzying grain, picking up splinters along the way. She knows how to pull them out. -This is all that I have to say.Ooooh and I smitten by Earth Art.

Medicine Wheel, Stan Herd.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I'm still in love with Morrissey... And made out of glass.

The world is lazy, but you and me we're just crazy......I'm still in love with Best Coast too.
Can I make the sun shine today?
Call me psychic but posting something as blatantly as I did was bound to get me in trouble.

"If you have to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you." - Oscar Wilde.

I'm forty percent paper mache.

I have to look like I know what I am doing, at the very least from a distance.... and I can manage that just fine.

So another monday morning.... and it's raining... but I have the new copy of The Paris Review in my hands... about to run and get the new issue of Art in America... so much for studying. It's gonna be a good day. Possibly...Possibly not... at the moment it's looking up. Hopefully the good mood will continue. I like my whims. They're so variant.

I wasn't joking about the paper mache.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The path goes further.

Kerrie is crushing. Kerrie is a bit confused. Nature overrides and guides you to the other treasure. It's the one she over looked. The one that evades, that pushes and pulls, but it's at the point that there's still time to pull away. I'm game.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Set to music. I am taken over.

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay

Her legs spread out before me as her body once did

All five horizons revolved around her soul

As the earth to the sun

Now the air I tasted
And breathed has taken a turn

And all I taught her was everything

I know she gave me all that she wore

And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds

Of what was everything?

Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed... Everything

Hold on to the thread

The currents will shift

Glide me towards...You know something's left

You don't have to stray

Tho oceans away

Waves roll in my thoughts

Hold tight the ring...The sea will rise...

Please stand by the shore...

I will be...I will be there once more...

And we're all allowed

To dream of the next

The next, time we touch...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Straight outta the package

The introductory twinges were sublime. The yearning was film quality.
But now... knowledge ended my youth. I'm old. I feel like a grandma... who lacks any awe inpsiring youth filled qualities. I still have hope. There is still hope in the past ..and.. what remains. "You say that never want me to leave, but you're gone so gone." "You say that you never want it to end, so I stick around." "but now you're gone so gone." "You say that you want to be more than friends, but now you're gone, so gone." "You say that you don't have time for for me, so now I am gone, so gone."
I am listening to Mumford and Sons, hey female friends no matter how long I've known you... or how little... Let's get drunk in Ireland and tell lies to men. Come with. I need it. (Side note please pay pour moi... make checks payable to cash.) Let's pash with someone who is gallant and Celtic.

Here are some of the lyrics to Mumford and Sons lyrics to White Blank Page: Check it.
"Can you lie next to her and give her your heart as well as your body? And can you lie next to her and encompass your love, your love as well as your folly."
"And loving you with my my heart, and tell you what was my fault in loving you with all of my heart." "A white blank page, and a swelling rage. You did not think, when you sent me to the brink. You desire my attention and denied my affection." "And tell me what was my fault in loving you with my whole heart?"

Mumford in Sons. Like I says those Irish boys.... mhm.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

"Hope(ful) Romantic" (I'm such a nerd)

The Junglecat paws at you oh so delicately.
Pretty wild stuff.
I am really wasting your time right now. It's sunday, I'm bored. What of it?
I keep asking... for a show, a way to present myself in an innovative light. And I keep getting a no.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Eὐτέρπη - I am the Junglecat that Always wins. je gagne souvent pour sporte.

We've been friends (and ya.) for a long long time, but i dont know how to make you mine. So i'll try yea i'll try to make you mine, all mine.
We've been friends for a long long time and still you drive me out of my mind (Which happened... oh so long ago.) So I'll try yea i'll try to make you mine all mine.
we've been friends for a long long time
but i don't know how to make you mine
so i'll try yea i'll try to make you mine all mine
oooh baby..0

When I’m with my guy and he watches the pretty girls go by
well it hurts so bad deep inside that I wish that I could die
not a word do I say
I just look the other way
cause that’s the way boys are
that’s the way boys are
when he treats me rough and he acts as though he doesn’t care
well I never tell him that he is being so unfair
cause he loves me and I know it
he is just afraid to show it

cause that’s the way boys are
that’s the way boys arethat’s the way boys are
oh oh when he wants to be alone
I just let him because I know soon enough
he’ll come back to me

when we have a fight and I don’t think that I’ll see him anymore
but before I know it there he is
standing at my doorwell I let him kiss me then
cause I know he wants me back
cause that’s the way boys are
That's Best Coast: Psychedelic pop, which is my schtick. Music has a profound effect on my psyche (hence the pyschedelic ...umm stuff... i am into.) Let's journey on this muddied road.. gathering what we can, taking what we want... the end of line is unimportant, it's the road, and the way you travel upon it, which has bearing to the completed masterpiece which is your hollow, sullied, jumbled, euphoric life. Shroomin' it are we??

and I am very furiously engorged with hunger... Je pense que cigarettes are in order. Phlem.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Oh pretty baby,

You'd be like HEAVEN to touch.

PASH! THE MOST Rational thing is PASH!!!

If it's quite alright.
Fugeessssssss. Trust in me when I say it's ok.

Reversion-eleven. Clinging to my sister's friends.

When I step out into the open, all is well and perfectly in a natural order. I gaze upon the highest plateau. I delve farther into the deepest crevice and what remains, what is left in my perception is the only thing which ever was... from the earliest time.... from the incarnation. The birth.