My views change quickly...
I didn't intend for the shift to be sudden or harsh. The truth is children, life can be rough. Life can be worse than a horror movie, or losing a poker game all in.
Life throws some people a lucky hand, others don't play with a full deck, and people like myself perpetually lose round after round.
I lost again and again.
I fold.
It isn't fair to my readers to be so vague and morbid...
I don't think that any of you readers could relate. I have lived more life than most old people. I am frightened by what I've seen. I grow, but weeds choke my roots. I have been wounded too deep for stitches, another solution is required. I hope to hopes that there will be a cheerful pinnacle ahead for me. We shall see. Life has been cruel to me twice this week. I know I can't ever be the same person again. It is strange, the first issue seemed so big and scary, but I knew that I would adjust after time. The second issue is one that does not heal, even with time.
Never ask "How much worse could things possibly be?" The outcome is unspeakable.
Trust me, I know.
I had high hopes, but in my case things go from bad to worse.
In all my life I never imagined that brutality directed towards me would peak to this kind of extreme.
This is my last post, the final stand of all I am.
Kerrie,
ReplyDeleteFind the sonnet by Gerard Manley Hopkins, #42, which begins, "No worst, there is none"--this echoes a thought in this post. Then turn to his #46 and read, "My own heart let me have more pity on..." I would love to introduce you to this genius of a God-lover, rejected by his own people, but clinging closely to God.