vipers are nocturnal and ambush their prey

Experiments have shown that these snakes are capable of making decisions on how much venom to inject depending on the circumstances. In all cases, the most important determinant of venom expenditure is generally the size of the snake, with larger specimens being capable of delivering much more venom. The species is also important, since some are likely to inject more venom than others, may have much venom available, strike more accurately, or deliver a number of bites in a short space of time. In predatory bites, factors that influence the amount of venom injected include the size of the prey, the species of prey, and whether the prey item is held or released. The need to label prey for chemosensory relocation after a bite and release may also play a role. In defensive bites, the amount of venom injected may be determined by the size or species of the predator (or antagonist), as well as the assessed level of threat, although larger assailants and higher threat levels may not necessarily lead to larger amounts of venom being injected.

You learn something new everyday! I'm not surprised to learn the fat ones are the most venomous! Interesting facts.

Some lyrics from my favorite song this week:
****If I were you, i'd take a permanent vacation...****

Eat it up.
feed on the garbage...
Maggot.

Pretty girls make graves.
You're the one for me, Fatty.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Sleep is a terrible commitment. Sleep admits defeat. To be tied to sleep and caught and choked and held to it... is an unsettling idea. Sleep is competition. The knots it creates are at odds with mine. Detangling is detaching. Detaching is crucial in this escape. To be freed from the bonds I've fastened is frightening, but impossible without permission. I enjoy navigating the twists and snags almost much as their production.
Weaving crossgrain on my tapestry, I look at the threads and I smile. I tie off. My part is finished. I wonder what others will come up with. A smile crosses my face again. No one out weaves the spider. To sleep is to surrender. Handle my fabric carefully. Spiders sometimes bite. It's tough to tell what stays awake spinning while a pillow is beneath a head.
Fingers stiffened.
Eight legs above.
Oh, if only I had more appendages like my friend the spider... so much more work could be done!
Alas, I must finish each task one by one, sharpening pins and needles is always so difficult when I find someone on them.
Sweet dreams my friends.

No Title

You really want to read all of this? I don't know who's crazier me for writing this... or whomever you are for going and reading it... Think about it.







i love my Jenna




As we spent the last night on Maudlin street, goodbye house forever. Love at first sight may sound trite, but it's true you know.

As I glance over...waiting...just breathe again.
The ground is frozen. You don't belong there.
In my lap
Burrowed
Left behind
Every night
Oh I was so selfish then
Always there
Tug at the rug
Self imposed sterile existence
I will be soon
I want you to breathe again
Lift up your head
The way you turned it to face me just before you went away
Head on paw
Stiffened the back I used to rub
Oh I do love you


We're after the same rainbow's end. We were going to see the world together. It was just around the bend. Wake up. Poke your head out from behind the curtain behind me, come look outside. I wish you were soft again. I need you to be with me...in this Place. I wish I were twelve again... because then you'd only be seven. We could run around the yard together again. I'd even let you catch that squirrel this time.

Who am I going to walk with now? I'm sorry I didn't wrap you in a nicer blanket last night. I'm sorry I made you take a bath when you didn't want to. I'm sorry that I trimmed your ear hair. I'm sorry I made you drink that medicine with the old turkey baster. I'm sorry I didn't lay by you more. Most of all I'm sorry that you're gone.

...But I'm still going to the dog bakery to buy your birthday carrot cake this year. Now it really blows that yours is the same day as mine...
We were meant to be.
You weren't supposed to go yet. I don't want to bury you in a couple hours. I want you to stay asleep in your spot... and then wake up after you've gotten plenty of rest, and we'll hop on the couch when mom isn't looking, and then we'll eat all of the carrots we like! and no one will stop us and say that we need to save some for soup. And then we'll spend the rest of the day exploring around outside, and it won't be cold! and ...

I just want more day with you. I wish you would have told me earlier that you were going. I'm sorry I can't come along just yet.

...You've never been anywhere without me before... I wish I could have baked you your favorite dog biscuits one more time. The ones that I make with the heart shaped cookie cutter.

I know I don't have much to go on with this seeing as you're the only dog I ever had, but I think, I know, that you're the sweetest bestest most wonderfulest dog that ever lived. And even if I ever have another dog (for whatever reason...believe me, you'll never be replaced) I won't ever love them the same way I love you (and this is a secret...just in case it happens...which I highly doubt it will... but if it does... it'll have to be secret because we wouldn't want to hurt their feelings) ... I'll always love you more.

Come back Jenna. It's hard seeing you this way.

Puppy Love

Life is everywhere. People have babies all the time. Almost always there is someone I know who is pregnant or has a baby. I've even been so privileged as to assist in a delivery. Life comes about frequently, joyously, and even sometimes unexpectedly.The excitement builds up in an expectant mother. The anticipation is almost too much to bear. There are fears, but they always pass.

The first wail of a newborn is both a little frightening and a cause for joy. A small new person breathes their first breath of air. The body is wet, and in my experience ... very very pink. It's a wonder to see the little hairs on a newborn's head. The small fingers are all equal in size. The fragile body is wrapped tightly in a blanket, but even then it's difficult to know what to say, or how to behave, or even how to feel. Birth invariably has had a strange effect on me. It's surreal. I'm seldomly able to grasp the idea of this new teensy individual existing in the world that I know. There are faint doubts in my head surrounding the whole idea of it.



Life is easy. We're all living right now. This passing moment, every feeling, every sensation, every regret, every pain of jealousy, the agony of feeling alone, the joy of company, the promise of hope, the itch on your back, the taste in your mouth, the memories gliding through your mind, they are all a part of existence in this world. These are things we really know. We all share in them to some degree. It's a pretty thing, this beingness, even when it feels ugly.



To all good things there must come an end.

Repose.

Sleep Eternal.



Death is unavoidable. Much like birth, I am unable to comprehend it when it occurs. I never had the opportunity to try either, but here it is ... a few feet away. Death is mysterious. I don't trust it at all! Tonight my part in it was unrelated to my part in birth. I was a witness once again. That is where the relation ends. That is how it feels. That feeling is false.
The truth is much like the birth I was present for, this participation in the experience of death was also a privilege. I'm thankful that my darling waited for me before she passed. It was bittersweet to be so close to one I loved so dearly when the time came for her saddeningly slow and slightly painful departure. I look even now and half expect her soft black ears to perk up a little. Maybe, just maybe if I whisper her name her eyes will open and meet mine again... It's a beautiful falsity. I don't curse death. I welcome it for it's own sake, even so far as to remove it from life... Death is make believe, it's conjured up as something that it is not becasue we cannot explain it readily or particularly. There is no such thing as death ...only a changing of worlds.





In Memoriam

Jenna, lovely little angel who has left me to frolic the pastures of heaven and to amuse herself with the chasing of rabbits (never catching...playful chasing) and perhaps even to rest on a few beds. My wonderful Jenna... Walking up the steps and opening the door I would always hear her tail beating against the entryway wall... barely able to contain her happiness that I was home. Jenna my sweet... Pulling down the bed covers and climbing onto the pillow when no one was looking. Jenna my baby... Taking her food and eating under the table at dinnetime. Jenna my n-n-enna... always there when I needed a hug. Jenna... I miss you.

The Elysian fields called her to play and I'm certain that I'll get to pet her again one day. I hope they have carrots there! They were her favorite... just like her mommy.






That's my baby... The one on the left.

Quote of the day

"Le premier symptome de amour vrai chez un jeune homme, est la timidite, chez une jeune fille, est la hardiesse."
Don't judge me, I'm lovesick today. ... : )

Buried

I'm getting out, and climbing back in. I miss feeling a thousand things at once, being headstrong, not being a full on adult. He symbolizes my girlhood, the one I gave to a black and white creature stuffed with softness. Oh... they're one and the same? That's is true.
I feel a little bad...
I feel a little bad for the one with the mortgage, the responsibilities, the one with their head on straight. The one with everything in place... who invited me in... but it's too restricted there. I've always said I wanted to be put in a glass case, on display, a soulless mannequin with nothing to say, a perfectly groomed, well dressed monster. There's no passion there. The trophy in the box isn't the same as the little girl with mismatched socks who also "likes fall." I'm tired of being someone's perfect accessory. I'm just glad we started out by explaining to each other exactly what we were doing together and why. Mutual using is an easy thing to get out of... the guidelines were perfectly clear. A meaningless partnership... two people... together out of spite. Trying to prove something to the past... they "no longer care about." Neither of us would be here if that were true.
My eyes are sore from crying, I hate when people catch me.
I hate when people catch me... I've been caught.

Goodbye, I'm sure you'll have millions of dollars one day.

The problem with giving your whole self away is that there's a price for it, but you can't ever pay it because you have nothing more to spare... a person requires another, the one they're giving themselves to. That person is supposed to give a small share to make up the difference. They pay the toll so you don't have to. So you don't do crazy things. Then you get to go down the road together. Otherwise you're stuck there, walking the way alone, a fool.



If you don't like me, don't look at me.

I was not meant to write tonight...

Dreaming fuzzily... and in muted tones

I watched the swirling clouds for awhile, woke up to the night, re-entangled myself in blankets, and woke up again, this time enchanted with the hours others pass through banally dreaming.

Hopefully one day this mess will all get sorted out. Things aren't always the way I planned them to be. I deal poorly with plans, especially the last minute sort.

I've said it before...I'll say it again. "Run, run, see if I care, see if I care (I do.) If you don't like me... then don't look at me... there must be somebody else who can take your gaze away. If you don't want me, you don't have to have me. I just thought you might feel the same. That's all."

I have to say hello to an old friend. And then I must go. I just stopped by to tell you that I'm going, ...it won't happen again. I swear.

Don't say I didn't warn you. Just don't say I didn't warn you..."Like a jealous little sister, when you had your time you spent it crying. I may be cold, I may be out of anyone's control, but I have my feeling of superiority to comfort me. "

You're drunker quicker... and you're sicker even quicker.... I was waiting for something to fall on you... so what shall I call you now? I will never say I told you so...but I knew, I knew, it was something that would happen to you. No, I told you so. I told you so.

I'm sorry if I have confused...anyone, but there is no person to which I am venturing through these waves for. I'm more of a floating island. I go where I want to, unencumbered by the fixed ground. I'll take company on my next misadventure...but please, don't try and set up shop.

The things you love. Why does someone always try and stop me from having the things in life that would make me happy? Have the pleasure of saying what you mean. To sum it up... maybe my weekend wasn't so good...

Aside from one detail I cannot mention in particulars however, it makes me glow and brim with smiles just thinking about. Sometimes life is kinder to me than other times.

So Happy

So Limbo. Saturday, what to do? Oh I know, but I have little desire to commit.

Shouting "I don't care" doesn't particularly convince me

You cannot call it your own. I always run circles up around in my head.
"A long, long time. Still you drive me out of my mind."

I hear the flucuations in the intonation. I know already. I always did. Lying is always a very foolish thing to attempt with me.

(But what street was she walking down?

As the street grew clearer, I saw it was in Paris. It was a boulevard.

And some months later, that first sentence finally became

"It was a hot, peaceful optimistic sort of day in September. It was about eleven in the morning I remember and I was drifting down the Boulevard St. Michel thoughts rising in my head like little puffs of smoke when suddenly…"

And I had to figure out - suddenly what? Somebody stops her, of course. The man she will fall in love with? Undecided. She's an actress and the man who stops her is an actor and they already know each other and they go to a café when suddenly again...

She sees her lover, an Italian Diplomat…." And I was off.)

-excerpt from The Dud Avocado, which was read by me....at age thirteen and had a profoundly negative effect on my overall character and person. The lack of morals is astounding, awe inspiring if you will. As a overt hedonist. I highly recommend it.

Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance.....

Can I just have one more moondance with you? -a song that never gets old.



"Choke me in the shallow water, before I get too deep."



With the sun shining, she walks on petals onto the dizzying grain, picking up splinters along the way. She knows how to pull them out. -This is all that I have to say.Ooooh and I smitten by Earth Art.


Medicine Wheel, Stan Herd.

I'm still in love with Morrissey... And made out of glass.

The world is lazy, but you and me we're just crazy......I'm still in love with Best Coast too.

Can I make the sun shine today?
Call me psychic but posting something as blatantly as I did was bound to get me in trouble.

"If you have to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you." - Oscar Wilde.

I'm forty percent paper mache.

I have to look like I know what I am doing, at the very least from a distance.... and I can manage that just fine.

So another monday morning.... and it's raining... but I have the new copy of The Paris Review in my hands... about to run and get the new issue of Art in America... so much for studying. It's gonna be a good day. Possibly...Possibly not... at the moment it's looking up. Hopefully the good mood will continue. I like my whims. They're so variant.

I wasn't joking about the paper mache.

The path goes further.

Kerrie is crushing. Kerrie is a bit confused. Nature overrides and guides you to the other treasure. It's the one she over looked. The one that evades, that pushes and pulls, but it's at the point that there's still time to pull away. I'm game.

Set to music. I am taken over.

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay

Her legs spread out before me as her body once did

All five horizons revolved around her soul

As the earth to the sun

Now the air I tasted

And breathed has taken a turn

And all I taught her was everything

I know she gave me all that she wore

And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds

Of what was everything?

Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed... Everything

Hold on to the thread

The currents will shift

Glide me towards...You know something's left

You don't have to stray

Tho oceans away

Waves roll in my thoughts

Hold tight the ring...The sea will rise...

Please stand by the shore...

I will be...I will be there once more...

And we're all allowed

To dream of the next

The next, time we touch...

Straight outta the package

The introductory twinges were sublime. The yearning was film quality.
But now... knowledge ended my youth. I'm old. I feel like a grandma... who lacks any awe inpsiring youth filled qualities. I still have hope. There is still hope in the past ..and.. what remains. "You say that never want me to leave, but you're gone so gone." "You say that you never want it to end, so I stick around." "but now you're gone so gone." "You say that you want to be more than friends, but now you're gone, so gone." "You say that you don't have time for for me, so now I am gone, so gone."
I am listening to Mumford and Sons, hey female friends no matter how long I've known you... or how little... Let's get drunk in Ireland and tell lies to men. Come with. I need it. (Side note please pay pour moi... make checks payable to cash.) Let's pash with someone who is gallant and Celtic.

Here are some of the lyrics to Mumford and Sons lyrics to White Blank Page: Check it.
"Can you lie next to her and give her your heart as well as your body? And can you lie next to her and encompass your love, your love as well as your folly."
"And loving you with my my heart, and tell you what was my fault in loving you with all of my heart." "A white blank page, and a swelling rage. You did not think, when you sent me to the brink. You desire my attention and denied my affection." "And tell me what was my fault in loving you with my whole heart?"


Mumford in Sons. Like I says those Irish boys.... mhm.

"Hope(ful) Romantic" (I'm such a nerd)

The Junglecat paws at you oh so delicately.
Pretty wild stuff.
I am really wasting your time right now. It's sunday, I'm bored. What of it?
I keep asking... for a show, a way to present myself in an innovative light. And I keep getting a no.

Eὐτέρπη - I am the Junglecat that Always wins. je gagne souvent pour sporte.

We've been friends (and ya.) for a long long time, but i dont know how to make you mine. So i'll try yea i'll try to make you mine, all mine.
We've been friends for a long long time and still you drive me out of my mind (Which happened... oh so long ago.) So I'll try yea i'll try to make you mine all mine.
we've been friends for a long long time
but i don't know how to make you mine
so i'll try yea i'll try to make you mine all mine
oooh baby..0


When I’m with my guy and he watches the pretty girls go by
well it hurts so bad deep inside that I wish that I could die
not a word do I say
I just look the other way
cause that’s the way boys are
that’s the way boys are
when he treats me rough and he acts as though he doesn’t care
well I never tell him that he is being so unfair
cause he loves me and I know it
he is just afraid to show it

cause that’s the way boys are
that’s the way boys arethat’s the way boys are
oh oh when he wants to be alone
I just let him because I know soon enough
he’ll come back to me

when we have a fight and I don’t think that I’ll see him anymore
but before I know it there he is
standing at my doorwell I let him kiss me then
cause I know he wants me back
cause that’s the way boys are
That's Best Coast: Psychedelic pop, which is my schtick. Music has a profound effect on my psyche (hence the pyschedelic ...umm stuff... i am into.) Let's journey on this muddied road.. gathering what we can, taking what we want... the end of line is unimportant, it's the road, and the way you travel upon it, which has bearing to the completed masterpiece which is your hollow, sullied, jumbled, euphoric life. Shroomin' it are we??






and I am very furiously engorged with hunger... Je pense que cigarettes are in order. Phlem.

Oh pretty baby,

You'd be like HEAVEN to touch.



PASH! THE MOST Rational thing is PASH!!!

If it's quite alright.
Fugeessssssss. Trust in me when I say it's ok.

Reversion-eleven. Clinging to my sister's friends.

When I step out into the open, all is well and perfectly in a natural order. I gaze upon the highest plateau. I delve farther into the deepest crevice and what remains, what is left in my perception is the only thing which ever was... from the earliest time.... from the incarnation. The birth.